|
I had to see this opening night, some sort of masochistic
impulse in me to be punished again and again, suffering through
hours of crap and having the pleasure of having my money wrested
from me at the door for the honor. So far this year I've
had my nuts chafed by the abject stupidity that was the
screenplay for White Noise
and my brain fried by the intense, astounding crapitude that was
The Ring II (Feces Comes Full Circle).
I had this hope, for some reason I will never understand, I had
this hope that Amityville, a remake of a film I never cared
enough to see the original of, would be scary. Why this urge?
The vibes in the preview. The scares seemed solid, not
based solely on disturbing images ripped off from another
culture, calculated to make you jump minus any sustaining
suspense power.
And the fact that I, as far as horror goes, am a 24 hour
sucker for a good Haunted House story.
|
DVD
|
|
Today the gods of terror shined down upon me, because
Amityville Horror is hands-down the best freaking horror movie
I've seen since the
Texas Chainsaw remake.
Hats off to director Andrew Douglas whose only other credit
is a documentary titled "Searching for the Wrong Eyed Jesus" (I
am unable to illuminate, friends, sorry). Creepy from
minute 10 till the end, the movie sustained this creepiness
rather intensely, despite having to do the inevitable
explanation where most of these asinine flicks fall apart,
keeping the audience jumping and keeping, more importantly,
their skin crawling all the way through. And I'll be damned straight into that
house... the explanation, though given ample opportunity to
tear the ass out of the whole venture, DIDN'T SUCK!
Who knew this level of ghost story ability was even possible
in today's Hollywood. MGM studios should all be
collectively committing unnatural sexual acts on each other
to celebrate this astounding venture. This is a date
film to help you score (fear and arousal are the same basic
emotion, guys), this is a horror film to replace air
conditioning on a hot day, 'cause it's downright creepy and
chilling, this is a horror film to add to the collection.
The Amityville Horror, 2005 edition, is kick-ass.
Great cast (even the kids, how often do I say that?), great
direction, great photography, great horror.
I'm a happy masochist. |
