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Reviews:
Charlie’s Angels
by
Michael Flanagan
Solid
Okay,
let’s be serious. Charlie’s
Angels is exactly what it and every male on the planet fortunate
enough to see it say it is: Sex.
Can sex be used as a one-word adjective? Yes. But only
when describing works of pleasure like this movie.
Cameron Diaz hasn’t looked this good in a long time.
Drew Barrymore looks good whether she’s wearing an evening gown
or a teenage boy’s tee shirt. Lucy Liu just looks plain cute, which balances out the trio
perfectly.
…
Oh,
yeah, they act well, too. The
plot’s good, the action is fun, and so is the movie.
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Christian's
Angels: Charlie's Angels
by Christian De Matteo
Super
Oh boy, did I love this
movie. Welcome to the world of pure (okay, maybe impure),
unadulterated (no, I won't make that joke) fun. Frankly, I
think this is a brilliant film. Why do I think that? Because
this was a truly asinine and daring venture that could easily have fallen
apart at the seams.
First of all, the movie is a
remake of an old television show. More often than not, that's a
recipe for disaster. Second of all, it's a remake of Charlie's
Angels. Shows don't get no more dated than that. Thirdly,
this is the ultimate slap in the face to the politically correct world we
live in. While I might think that world needs a good slapping, a lot
of people (Columbia Grad school students mostly) don't.
So how does oddly-named director McG
(an Irish rap gangster?) manage to turn these three massive negatives into
money-making positives? Here's how: First, he opens the movie
by making fun of the TV remake film genre with L.L. Cool J's comment
mocking comment, "Another stupid movie made from an old TV show"
in regard to an in-flight showing of... care to take a guess... T.J.
Hooker. Naturally, the first word on the screen is
"Hooker." In one fell swoop, the film tells you that not
only doesn't it take itself seriously, but it doesn't want you to.
Have fun.
Secondly, he updates Charlie's
Angels James Bond style. He knows he's not breaking any new
ground here, so why bother trying to do something forcedly creative.
Just use the old Bond trick of never mentioning that the main character's
been the same age for four decades. He continues to update the film
by spoofing other popular films gratuitously like The Matrix.
Instant 2000-fication.
Thirdly, he deals with the
toughie. How does one make a mainstream, blatantly un-PC movie in
the year 2000? Here McG decides to toe a very thin line by making a
movie that totally mocks 1970s sexploitation, that is, all the while, one
of the most blaring pieces of sexploitation to come out in years.
The girls are overly ditsy and brilliant and the outfits are completely
revealing and practical. Note also that most objects in the film are
shaped like some form of genitalia: the massive safe Cameron Diaz
changes into the hot skin-tight suit in; the space satellite; the house
Sam Rockwell lives in; the panic button Drew gives Rockwell. Watch
for them and report back what body parts they are on Monday, class.
Pure sexploitation and pure mockery. Wonderful.
Still not convinced of its worth? Well, if for
nothing else, see it because Cameron Diaz (whom I love, by the bye) is
gorgeous. All the Angels are. Absolutely gorgeous. The
ladies have so much fun with the part, that it's obvious they all get the
joke. Need more? You also get to see Crispin Glover (Back
to the Future) as a bad guy. That's right, Marty McFly getting
his damn hands on her. And Bill Murray is the final piece of
the pie that completes the ultimate comic recipe. Watch for the
hysterical sequence where it is clear the director stepped back, chucked
the script and said, "Bill, do your thing." A fine
decision on McG's part.
This is undoubtedly not one of
the greatest films ever made, but it didn't ever intend to be. Had
it taken itself seriously it would have flopped ( I give you the atrocity
known as Lost in Space). I'm sure a lot of you are mad at me
for giving it a Super, but the movie accomplished exactly what it wanted
to and I enjoyed that accomplishment. I've seen it twice and laughed
my butt of each time. Go with a good sense of humor, leave your
political baggage at the door, and enjoy, because it's rare to see
something this brilliantly trite.
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The director's name, if you're wondering, is Joseph McGinty
Mitchell. Apparently someone thought it would be a good idea.
The Rumor Mill
What you are about to read is based on
Hollywood rumor. It is not necessarily fact and should not be held
against the actors involved. After all, we know how rumors fly,
especially in Hollywood, and it would be wrong to attack someone based
on a half-truth or boldfaced lie. Besides, we don't want to be
sued. Thanks.
1.) It is said that the on-stage fights that took place during
the shooting of this film nearly ruined its chances for release.
Amongst other things, Bill Murray nearly walked off the set because he
couldn't deal with his co-stars. So far, it seems like everyone's
to blame...except, of course, for Lucy Liu who's perfect in every
way. I love you Lucy!
2.) The original TV Angels are said to be angry over their lack
of involvement in this film. Apparently, they feel that all remake
should be nostalgic garbage like...ugh, I hate to even say its name...Lost
in Space. I feel so dirty!
Aside from that, the actors are being pretty tight-lipped about the
shenanigans that took place on-set. If anything juicy comes
'round, I'll let y'all know.
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