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Better than having a
chunk bitten out of your crotch: Dreamcatcher
by Christian De
Matteo
Super
Wondering why
the title of my review seems so negative and yet I gave it a
Super? Well, you should. By all rights, and to truly
do you a service as a reviewer, I should tell you never, ever, to
go see this awful debacle of a film.
But I am
going to recommend it anyway.
And highly at
that.
Dreamcatcher
will give you a headache during the first hour, juggling what
seems like 57 separate plotlines, introducing and seemingly
forgetting MAJOR plot points for massive chunks of time, and
starting out like one of the greatest and most genuinely
frightening movies to come out in years and than disappointing you
with silly horror movie crap shortly after. And yes, I am
recommending it.
Dreamcatcher
disappoints in the most wonderful and fun ways, creating a horror
film that is beautifully gorey and hysterical all at once.
Somehow, when one of my favorite actors is offed early on in the
film (bloody, bloody, bloody, by the way... delectably) though sad
he won't be in the rest of the movie, the look of surprise on his
face is damned funny. As is the situation that proceeds the
discovery of the monster.
Think
about this: We have a horror movie whose entire premise of
how the alien/monster menace is discovered centers around flatulence.
No, really. Gassy strangers gestate the monsters in birth
them... kind of... on the toilet (or, like a German marathon
runner, where ever they happen to be).
From there
the movie switches to an entirely different movie seemingly
scripted by a whole other writer, a military B-movie with Morgan
Freeman delivering laughably silly lines as an over-the-top,
out-of-his-mind General, specially ordered to deal with this
apparently long standing menace. Hell, Tom Sizemore is the
calm one in these scenes and Freeman the nutjob! I'd like to
congratulate the casting director whose brainchild this was.
Dreamcatcher
is everything that has been wrong with horror for years, done with
class by two massive Hollywood talents (director Lawrence Kasdan
and writer William Goldman) who know the story is silly by default
of King's novel and make exactly the type of movie they should
have.
Dreamcatcher
is the definitive beer and pizza flick.
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