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Well, I can still do
that last part. But damn if the
freaking film wasn't half enjoyable. I can't believe
it and I'm really almost embarrassed to admit it, but I
kinda liked the damn thing. Now don't get all excited
and run from your computer screaming "Emma! Emma, get
your coat; we got ta get to the theater! The comic
book movie's second coming has arrived!" It hasn't, as
a diehard Marvel man (albeit one that dislikes the Four), I
can comfortably say this is well below the Blades and
Spidermans that have come out and maybe a notch below
Daredevil. But it's certainly better than The Punisher
and (sorry, Ang Lee) The Hulk. It's fun.
That's the bottom line. Not fun like, "That was the
best time I've had at the movie's since I took out Jeanine
and cut a hole in the bottom of the popcorn container", but
fun like, "Hey, that was kinda neat." Why?
First of all, as we all knew from all advanced material on
the movie, this is Johnny Storm's movie. Actor Chris
Evan's nails the role and creates literally nearly every one
of the good moments in the movie. He's funny, he's
likable, he's cool, he's an irresponsible but good hearted
young man. Perfect. Secondly, an actress I am
gaining more and more appreciation for, Jessica Alba.
Alba, who impressed me in Sin City and way back in Idle
Hands, takes her relatively boring character of Sue Storm
and brings her to life in a very sexy and likable way.
You really kinda dig her. Thirdly, the wonderful
Michael Chiklis, you know, the Commish. Great casting
for Ben Grimm, very funny, very likable, very good.
Fourthly... well, here's where it gets complicated.
Fantastic Four has one of the best worst scripts I've
ever witnessed in a film. Filled with some terrific
moments, very funny lines, and clever dialogue and
exposition, it propels the film along at a decent clip,
making it an enjoyable watch... except when it falls on its
face, destroys mythology and gives the characters terrible
dialogue. No, really... that's the best way I can put
it. There are some great moments here, some very
clever stuff... but damn if it doesn't fall into cliche
halfway through Act I and for the first half of Act III.
This last one is its most egregious crime, ruining the
character of Ben Grimm with a tired plot cliche (let the bad
guy play Iago and convince one of the good guys the rest of
the team doesn't care about him... and then let him realize
he was led and find redemption with some huge act of
self-sacrifice.) Dammit... I had that cliche and to do
it to one of the most loyal characters in comics, The Thing,
is obscene. It literally angered me. The script
is attributed to two authors, one Mark Frost, and the other
Michael France. Well, I'm willing to attribute all the
crap to France, who's past sins include the script for The
Hulk and The Punisher. France, it seems, is a
comic-character-rapist, destroying all things we love about
our heros. If I'm wrong Michael, forgive me, but I
don't think I am. What else is wrong?
Well, obviously there are budget issues here. The
special effects, with few exceptions, kinda suck. And,
except the actors listed above... bad, bad casting.
Mr. Fantastic, played by Ioan Gruffudd (Celtic much?) has no
real personality. His fault? I don't know,
'cause I always sort of felt that way about Mr. Fantastic
anyway. Regardless, the character is pretty empty.
But the worst of it was the casting of the seminal Marvel
villain, Dr. Doom. As a comic fan you know that any
time anything BIG is going down, Doom's involved. Not
this Doom. Terribly, I repeat, TERRIBLY portrayed by
Julian McMahon, I guess I bigwig on Nip/Tuck which I've
never seen, Dr. Doom is a metro sexual (thanks Dave Katz for
that observation) spoiled richboy intent on... well, being a
d*ck. And that's about it. He's really just a
d*ck. He's not threatening, he's not manically
brilliant, he's not astoundingly evil... he's just a d*ck.
Imagine, a dream project crossover movie, where all the
actors playing Marvel characters all appeared together and
Dr. Doom teamed up with Magneto... Ian McKellen would act so
many circles around this guy he'd be literally spinning.
Not one line of dialogue, several of which should have been
quotable bad-guy lines, worked in his delivery and once he
donned the rather vaguely explained mask, his delivery
became as a fan on its lowest setting. Awful. I
am completely unfamiliar with his other work, but this was
catastrophic casting. These things aside,
it's not a bad summer movie. It's not a GOOD summer
movie, but it's fun, you'll laugh a good amount and the
action, while never suspenseful, shocking or otherwise
hair-raising, is enjoyable. If you get it on DVD, read
the summary, fast forward the first ten minutes and then sit
back for some casual brain candy. It's no Spiderman 2,
but if you sat through the rape that was The Punisher,
you'll be relieved by the Resoundingly Adequate Four.
Or, you could just go see Batman Begins again, and wait for
this on DVD. |
