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| Rated: PG-13 |
2002 |
Color |
90 mins |
| Starring:
Jason Statham, Shu Qi, Francois
Berleand, Matt Schulze, Doug Rand, Jedd Tan, Rick Young |
| Directed
by: Cory Yuen |
| Written
by: Luc
Besson, Robert Mark Kamen |
| Music:
Stanley Clarke |
| Movie
Co.: Fox |
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Critique
Section
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HugeReviews.com's
Official Rating System:
Pathetic
Wimpy
Solid Super
HUGE
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| HugeReviews.com's
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Stills: Photos |
Links |
Awards |
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HugeReviews.com
Reviews:
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Transport This
by Michael Flanagan
Wimpy
Let's just say this: Martial-arts-action-car
chase-kidnapping-shoot-outs-explosions...and it's rated
PG-13. I think about The Transporter and I smile at
parts. Some moments are genuinely good. Other parts,
I was ready to nap through. And the dialogue...oh, the
dialogue. As a whole, when I look back on this film...I
barely remember it.
The main problem with the film is that they've done a great
job of setting up these huge action sequences with various
points and aspects and they never deliver with the goods.
For example...the film opens with a car chase scene complete
with funny dialogue, a death, and a soundtrack (and a sound
track) that made me feel the speed of the car. To show you
that we're not in Kansas anymore, the car leaps off of a bridge
and lands safely in the one empty spot in the back of one of
those car-transport trucks. I was left in awe, thinking
that the movie was going to be a series of car chases like this
one, each erupting larger than the one before it like a
martial-arts Smokey and the Bandit. Instead, the
film grinds to a halt and we get back story on the driver's
military past, and a new assignment, and a girl, but no more car
chases.
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The sequences within the movie also don't
deliver. The bad guys surround the hero's house,
gun-toting men firing rocket launchers; the house kind of
partially blows up, and the hero escapes with plenty of time to
spare and no real thrills. Then, we get a slow,
underwater swim in the pretty water. They have a great
fight scene take place on an oil slick, with everyone sliding
around and falling while our hero stays up using a great, ingenious
method. Then, more bad guys come running in firing
automatic weapons--in an oil-filled room! Nope, no
explosion. Instead, the hero takes a body out the window
into the water, and to escape, he kisses the dead man. Not
kidding. And the ending! They give us two Mack
trucks surrounded by bad guys heading down the highway.
Our hero parachutes onto one of the trucks...and we get a quick
fight sequence with no real payoff. He steals a truck and
drives it to the beach, where we get our final, and quite
uneventful showdown.
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"If I leave this tape off, will
you promise to shut up and let the car chase scene start?"
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| Oh, and back on the dialogue
again. The following lines actually exist in this movie:
"Okay, to the water." "I'd rather not go
for a swim." (Then they go to a cliff, not even the
water.) "All you do is complain, except when we make
love, when you don't talk at all." "I've always
said you can tell how a man treats himself based on his
car." I won't list more.
This is a PG-13 movie co-written by Luc Besson. Let us
hope that, like Leon, we get a DVD release of an unrated,
violent film with a new plot and good endings to fight
scenes. Until then, rent a John Woo film.
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| Awards
& Nominations: IMdb |
Full
Cast & Credits: IMdb |
| Links:
Official
Site |
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